I used to yell at people. I do it intentionally ; because through yelling I got to exercise my power. Mind you that I wasn't yet a CEO or even a person with higher position. But I yelled. Just like what my former bosses were doing. I yelled at my subordinates. When I was asked to lead I would start yelling to the people at the most stressful time e.g. event, shoot, midst of unexpected problems. I let them felt that I was more stressful and pressured than any of them; that I got the right to yell; thaf if they were on my shoes they would yell as well and I would totally understand that. I idolized my bosses so much because they were successful in their chosen career. They went through so much hardship before they got there. Now I have to work hard as they do. I made them my inspiration that I even went after their attitude of yelling at people.
Funny. I had several superiors before from company head, theater director, dance guru, to foreigner boss. More than half of them are the yelling ones. The sort of what you called the 'terrorist boss'. You tell me about it, I was the luckiest of the luckiest subordinates on earth. Sometimes I felt like asking what I have done so much, to deserve such a sweet reward. But hey, despite their monstrous appearancr errr I mean attitude when they were under stress and time pressure (which they often were), there were still good things about them. As I said, I admired and respected these people. Except when they yelled at people. Well, I only realized it now that I'm older and more mature.
I remember way back in college whenever I led a production performance, I used to stress myself too much that I got to yell at my classmates at times. My point then was: you chose me as a leader do your duty as responsible followers. The truth was I was just ill-patient. I never worried that my classmates would get mad. They wouldn't take it personally. They knew it was just work for the class. Years went by and we left the university. One day I came across my classmate. She's already a ramp model and had her cool photos invading the net. I congratulated her and suddenly she blurted out, "Di ko nga akalain. Dati sinisigaw-sigawan mo lang ako." And my jaw dropped upon hearing that. It didn't came into me that she and perhaps our other classmates were feeling that way towards me. They had this discreet resentment; they've hated me and perhaps until now. What a worse way to be remembered. :(
Yelling people are not aliens at many companies; not even at some homes. Though no harsh or hurting words are said, a yelling in anger, frustration and the like, will always hurt the person's feelings. Either it's their ego or their feelings that you've hit, what really matter is you hurt them. And they remember you that way, as piece of an a*sehole that's so full of himself. This I realized along my journey in life, yelling creates a void in our heart. That void is filled with emotion over the period of time. The louder and the harsher the yell, the larger is the void. Whether it's the emotion of hatred, resentment, sorrow, or frustration, it is the emotion that they feel about you -- and often, it is the hatred. We can talk to them, laugh with them, and treat them as our friend (or family), but that void will always stay where it is. It's often hard to fill in the void created by yelling. Something grows from that void as well, and we wouldn't want to know more about it....
Funny. I had several superiors before from company head, theater director, dance guru, to foreigner boss. More than half of them are the yelling ones. The sort of what you called the 'terrorist boss'. You tell me about it, I was the luckiest of the luckiest subordinates on earth. Sometimes I felt like asking what I have done so much, to deserve such a sweet reward. But hey, despite their monstrous appearancr errr I mean attitude when they were under stress and time pressure (which they often were), there were still good things about them. As I said, I admired and respected these people. Except when they yelled at people. Well, I only realized it now that I'm older and more mature.
I remember way back in college whenever I led a production performance, I used to stress myself too much that I got to yell at my classmates at times. My point then was: you chose me as a leader do your duty as responsible followers. The truth was I was just ill-patient. I never worried that my classmates would get mad. They wouldn't take it personally. They knew it was just work for the class. Years went by and we left the university. One day I came across my classmate. She's already a ramp model and had her cool photos invading the net. I congratulated her and suddenly she blurted out, "Di ko nga akalain. Dati sinisigaw-sigawan mo lang ako." And my jaw dropped upon hearing that. It didn't came into me that she and perhaps our other classmates were feeling that way towards me. They had this discreet resentment; they've hated me and perhaps until now. What a worse way to be remembered. :(
Yelling people are not aliens at many companies; not even at some homes. Though no harsh or hurting words are said, a yelling in anger, frustration and the like, will always hurt the person's feelings. Either it's their ego or their feelings that you've hit, what really matter is you hurt them. And they remember you that way, as piece of an a*sehole that's so full of himself. This I realized along my journey in life, yelling creates a void in our heart. That void is filled with emotion over the period of time. The louder and the harsher the yell, the larger is the void. Whether it's the emotion of hatred, resentment, sorrow, or frustration, it is the emotion that they feel about you -- and often, it is the hatred. We can talk to them, laugh with them, and treat them as our friend (or family), but that void will always stay where it is. It's often hard to fill in the void created by yelling. Something grows from that void as well, and we wouldn't want to know more about it....
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