Random Thoughts:Just when you get sick of rules

I've been catching up lately with the U.S. series "House of Cards" (still in the Season 1 but almost done) and so far it's not failing to struck me; at how evil and dirty the politics is and how a real gamer should play well with balls and numbers. The detailed portrayal of the scheme keeps racking my brain. The effect on me goes as far as doubting the credibility of the fifth state in the worst way that you can imagine. This is the sort of arena that got no room for honesty and clean conscience. But let's leave the full review to my post soon in Now Brewing. However, don't get me wrong on my statement on media. It's as vicious as the others -- a savage that drool over fresh and exclusive scoop, men and women who slut their way around potential and influential source, ready to manipulate a story if necessary -- these and far worst bargains for their own benefits. But what else can they do? Survival of the fittest is the main rule here.

I'd like to give a special attention to the fictional company in the show, the Slugline. It's an online media company that seemed to be revolutionary in its format and protocol. First, the office got no cubicles. There are chairs and tables and couches at every corner. Most likely the wire cables are hanging in the wall so one can just plug the net to her laptop. When you enter the premise, you'll see the staff all busy with their own gadgets -- laptop, mobile phone, tablet, etc. -- some are squatting in the floor while others are lying cozly in the sofa with earphones on their ears, not giving a care to the other people around them. Well, that's very anti-social but they're there to work after all. They post, blog, and write news  or anything they think of online. Another privilege they enjoy is that they are saved from the sometimes fair but oftentimes unreasonable judgments of the copy editor and bosses. They can post anything without the approval of the boss; as long as they themselves are confident that their story is worth of posting. As long as it's capable of breaking the internet.

Now isn't that something cool and unusual? It offers the freedom from your work desk, it relieves you from the red marks that require revisions, and it gives you limitless option for topics you want to jnvest your time on. This is kind of a disorganized system but the organized one often puts the people in a box. Just like what happened to Zoe before she strut her way to Underwood's door. The Herald dictated the story she should write. While she can definitely do more than that, her hands are tied and her skills buried.

It brings me to the fancy idea that we are now starting to get back to the old times; where there are less rules and less boxes to imprison ourselves on. The time before the writing got its standard form and technique; the time when people aren't binded in desk and chair; when suit and ties aren't a handcuff. Just when we thought that we are in evolution towards a more advanced and highly digital world, we are actually being drawn back to the world before our time. Rules, system, protocol are starting to dissolve; we are getting back to our wild, untamed, barbaric self. Not too long now. We're getting there.

Feature: Summer Saya sa Aurora: Facilitating the Theatre Arts Workshop to the Youth of Casiguran

Being in theatre for 10 years now, I’m often invited to give acting workshop to kids and teens every summer. Most of those who invite me are my friends and co-actors starting a new group; others are contacts from my network who organize worthwhile summer activities for the youngsters. It has been a normal job for me every summer. Mostly are just within the Metro. Last year I taught the kids and teenagers from Philand, Tandang Sora and we had their culminating activity at the front yard of their chapel. The workshop ran for almost 4 weeks.

This year was different though because I had to travel 10-12 hours to Aurora and spent four straight days there. I’m not really new to community workshop because I used to do that back in my college days. During my time at PUP, I was part of a theatre group Tanghalang Hulyo Beinte Tres Ink. and we organized community theatre workshop every summer of the year. We went to different provinces and immersed ourselves to the core of the community. We reached out to their children and teens and educate them about theatre arts. My last community workshop with THBTI was five years ago at Tugos, Marinduque and this year I got to experience it again at the province of Aurora.

I was just actually invited by ate Dang to come along with her. We were commissioned by Sir Frank Rivera to Casiguran, Aurora to facilitate Integrated Theatre Arts workshop for the youth there. The event “Summer Saya sa Aurora” by Theatro Kalinangan ng Aurora was spearheaded by Sir Larry Dulay in collaboration with the different schools in Casiguran. We travel on the night of April 25 and arrived at Casiguran at 8AM in the morning of April 26. It was a long and exhausting road trip from Manila to Cabanatuan, Cabanatuan to Baler, and Baler to Casiguran. However, it was all worth it because the place was relaxing and all the people are hospitable and nice. They warmly welcomed us and provided us all that we needed. We stayed at the Lodging House of Dr. Lanay and held the workshop at the newly built Agricula Covered Court. 

When we arrived in the morning of April 26 we just rested some few minutes and headed to Agricula to begin the first day of the activity. Around 80-90 participants enlisted ranging from 7 to 18 years old. It was a huge class but ate Dang and I managed it through the help of Sir Larry and the ever-supportive teachers. At first I doubted the cooperation of the young ones but to my amazement they were more enthusiastic and participative than the older ones. 

I’m reminded again how growing up created layers to our personality that in time like this, the older ones get to hold back more of themselves than the kids who are all out in expressing their selves out. There were still some kids who were too shy to give their 100 percent in the workshop but the good thing was that, they still did whatever we were asking them to do.

The first day of the activity was more of games and introduction to the arts of acting. The participants enjoyed it as well as the teachers who joined in the workshop. The second day became more serious though. We needed to exert more efforts in motivating the participants to express their emotions. It took us time in convincing them to shake off their inhibitions. Our patience was tested but we were happy to see that these youngsters, in spite of their struggle with their own selves (on whether to try the activity or to just drop the whole idea of attending the acting class) still tried to give their very best. I knew that while some of them were bibo kids, there were some who seemed quiet and timid but only hiding a great talent. Some of them might not yet ready to unleash it, some of them might not yet ready to conquer their fear; to break the chain that bind their will to express their selves; I know in time though, they will be ready. 

Just like in any class, there were those kids who stood out among the rest. One of them is the boy named Rodvic. When you looked at him you would think of him as one of the naughtiest kids in the class; someone who would always throw papers to his classmates; who would always submit a blank paper during exam; who would always start the fight inside the classroom. Well he might be indeed that someone; but in our class, he’s the creamiest among the crop. He surpassed even those who are older than him. He still has lot more to learn when it comes to acting but his unrestrained creativity, his scope of exploration in the workshop is wide that he get to discover new learning  more quickly than the others. His thinking was advanced perhaps because of his creative imagination; and that what highly matters in the world of theatre. One example was in the Four Basic Emotion exercise where I would ask for a scene and they would portray it in tableaux with an appropriate emotion. Whenever I asked for a scene of funeral, all members in the each group would take the role of the mourners. Only Rodvic and Rodvic alone had thought of taking the role of the deceased. He lied down in front of his team mates who were already posing as family and friends of the dead. Another one was when we asked them to act out a natural calamity. In Rodvic’s group, landslide was assigned to them. When it was their turn to act that the logs from the mountains were rolling down, Rodvic reacted while stomping his feet to the wooden stage. It created the sound effects of logs that were now coming into them. No one instructed him but out of nowhere he had thought of doing that. In the actual performance, Rodvic’s group was assigned with a war scene. The older boys were supposed to hold a big handkerchief and stretch it like a gun. In the scene, the older boys were fighting the rebels to protect their community but they were all defeated and died. In the last part, the child Rodvic would take one of the guns and aimed it to the audience. Unfortunately, these older boys forgot to bring the gun props and just held an imaginary gun during the act. When it was Rodvic’s turn, I thought he would also hold an imaginary gun like what the other else did but no, he walked right into the centre of the stage with his eyes blazing. He held up the wireless microphone like a gun and aimed it to the audience. He never did that at the rehearsal but right there in the actual stage, he had thought to improvise; he had thought of using the microphone as a gun.

Another one who stood out in the class was Cymer, a girl of Rodvic’s age. You’d never notice her among the crowd because she was quiet. She never volunteers and she was never active in assessment and interaction. But whenever she went onstage and acted out a particular scene, you’d be amazed on how great actress she is. She knew how to internalize, she knew how to act even without lines to deliver, and she knew how to speak only through her eyes. I don’t know where she had learned it or where her motivation was coming from but one thing for sure, she can be a good stage actress someday. 

Aside from Rodvic and Cymer, there were lots of other workshoppers who stood out and proved their talents. This workshop was just a beginning of their learning and we hoped they never stop there. I’ll not be surprised if some day in the future I would bump to any one of them inside a rehearsal room. I wouldn't wonder if I get to work with them one day in one theatre play.

This workshop was another great experience for me to cherish. I remember my youth when I was as hopeful and enthusiastic as these kids; I remember the fear and doubts; but most of all I remember how I used to dream like them -- to dream and hope without limits. Thank you to these people. My passion was once again rekindled and fueled with goals and purpose. 

For more photos of the workshop you can check https://www.facebook.com/uel.ceballos/media_set?set=a.10205834412432721.1029921598&type=3

Feature: What cause you the worst staycation hang over?

When long vacation just ended, most people find it hard to get back to their normal life. It’s either they still have the hangover of relaxation or they are too disgusted to get back on things they routinely do. Some people say they make use of holidays to relieve their stress and escape the daily grinds of works and responsibilities. They pour out their excitement to exciting trips and express their overflowing joys in the fun times of vacation or staycation. They get so much, as in so much happy that when the days are over, they get so much sad. Even just before the Monday begins they get stressed already – some gets annoyed by the thought of seeing their boss again, some gets worried of the works that about to come, some gets terrible of the whole idea of working again. Why does it need to happen? We empty ourselves from stress and depression, yet in just the matter of minutes we are filled again with these negativities. What could be the reason for too much attachment to staycation?

1. You don’t love your job. When you do you’d be happy to get back after a vacation break. Even if some days at your job keep burning you out, once you recharge and refresh you’d happy to do the same work again. Not unless you hate it because you’d be really happy to find an escape; and you wish nothing but for that escape to last for a lifetime.
2. You’re tired of difficult people. Though you love your job, some people around you paint a miserable environment that makes the work unbearable. The painful fact here is that they exist everywhere. Difficult people are like a curse. We can’t escape them but at least we can find some little best ways to deal with them. The best way to get rid of difficult people? Be the happiest and most contented person that you can be and no difficult person will ever make it into your nerves.
3. You drown in so much joy and excitement. You plunge deeply that you find it hard to get out of the water. This is a problem for most of us. We make ourselves so comfortable with what we are getting at the moment. While living the present is the best mantra in life, being a bit futuristic wouldn’t give you harm. Avoid getting drowned and be realistic that all these are just temporary; that on the following days you’d need to get back to the normal system again.
4. You’re an extreme person. Some people are immoderate over the things that they do. When they work, they work like there are no tomorrows. When they relax, they relax as if tomorrow is the end of the world. These people suffer the most painful hang over every time a thing or an event has to end. They develop the strongest attachment that moving on from something bears them depression.

We fancy vacation or staycation because it gives us an escape from the hurly-burly of life. We crave for it because it relieves us from stress. But remember that it can be the source of more painful stress as well; so be balanced about your lifestyle and keep everything under your control. Hope you had a smooth Monday today. Welcome back to normal life! :)

Who am I to not love You?

by: Uel Ceballos 

In a humid, claustrophobic dungeon,

In floor of mire, I sat alone.

My weeping bounces off in the wall made of stone.

Tears are my water, silence is my companion.

I rip my clothes in sorrow.

I shave my head in shame.

I’m nothing but a disappointment,

I’m a sinner.

No one loves me except You.

You stretch out your hand with tears on Your face.

You bath me with Your own blood.

I come out clean; not the same person I used to be.

You stretch out Your hands and You struggle.

I reach out for it and I see the reason.

You stretch out Your hands in the cross for me;

To free me out from the dungeon; to take me out of the darkness.

While my tears are my water, yours is the bitter wine.

My suffering is nothing compared from yours.

Who am I to not love you when you have given us your all?

Just come and make your presence felt; it's all that He asked of you.

I live in Quezon City; but every March of the year I travelled to Taguig to rehearse for SADTC’s (St. Anne Dance & Theatre Co.) “Daan ng Dalamhati.” It’s a holy week presentation of Jesus’ way to the cross. “Daan ng Dalamhati” is a combination of songs, dances, and skit that lead everyone to contemplate on each station.

I used to perform in the theatre shows of Action-ARNAI, thus when they first invited me last year to take part in SADTC’s (same people composed the two groups) “Daan ng Dalamhati” I answered “Yes” right away. When they asked me last month if I’d be joining again this year I only let 2 seconds passed before I gave my YES! I was asked to take part on this annual performance for Jesus Christ; who am I to refuse this great privilege? I was called to perform; who am I to not heed? All through the year I lived a grace-filled life; who am I to not give back to Him?

The people in Action-ARNAI/SADTC are all good and talented people. I love them and they love me more than twice in return. Sometimes I wonder why they are so nice to me. What have I done to deserve such kind of treatment? When I arrive they would all greet me with wide grin on their faces, “Hi tiyang (they really mean ate Uel),” – okay, they may be a little naughty, for teasing me tiyang though I’m not yet that old to be called as such but they are good-hearted and jolly people. Their dedication to their craft and to their service to the Lord is incomparable. Last year when Tita Bunny first asked me she also added, “Uel, sali ka sa Daan ng Dalamhati namin, para lalo ka pang ma-bless.” You see how generous and thoughtful they are?! They want to extend the blessings to the other people like me. They want me to receive more blessings too!

The preparation for “Daan ng Dalamhati” usually takes 1-2 month. Rehearsal is almost every night from 7PM to 11PM. This is a community project so unlike any other theatrical performances, this one has no compensation; a labour of love. You are performing not merely for the passion but for your love to God. I live in QC so I travel at 4 or 5PM to get there on time. It takes me one tricycle, three jeepneys, and one MRT ride for one way trip so just double the numbers and those are the rides I take in all. Rehearsal ended at 11PM. I’d start to travel home around 11:30PM and I’ll reach home at 1:30 to 2AM. The kinds of dances we do here in DnD are contemporary and extensive dances; limbs are stretched, skins are sometimes bruised, and bones are challenged. I can say “No” to them since I have a church near us where I also serve in ministry but why do I still take these extra sacrifices? One night, Tita Rolyn told us to not look at DnD as penitential act but rather as devotion. Even so, why make myself endure the hassle of rush hours and late-night wakefulness? The answer: because even if I multiply this act 2 or 3 times more, it’s still nothing compared to what the Lord has done for me. He gave up His only son to wash away my sins. Jesus died for me. That’s too much to ask but Jesus took all the beating and persecution, because He loves me. The Father and Son love me.

Every time I attend a rehearsal, a dinner would be served. Before I go they would provide me a transportation fare. Last time Tita Nina gave me a new Jazz Shoes. A dancing Jazz shoes – I’ve been a dancer for more than five years now but never did I have a Jazz shoes! Just imagine how my heart jumped in so much joy. Sometimes I’m already feeling embarrassed because they’ve been treating me special; so special that I don’t feel like I deserve any of it.I feel ashamed of myself because at some point there were those times that I became greed and insensitive of other people's need. Yet, here are  thegreat people from SADTC, treating me nicely and kindly; here I am receiving so much grace. I came to realize one thing: I just need to attend and give time and they will take care of the rest -- food, transpo allowance, etc. My presence matters. At that moment I suddenly heard the voice of the Lord, “Uel, I’ll take care of everything that you need. Just come. Because your presence matters to me. I want to see you using that gift that I gave you. I'd be happy to watch you perform.” 

In another moment of our lives, the Lord will ask us of the same thing. "Come to me. Just come", "Use your gift child. I'm proud of you", "Your presence matters". All that He asked of us is to come and make our presence felt. He will provide all the rest that we need -- a shower of blessings and grace. All that we just need to do is come to Him. Just come to Him.

            

Sa Mga Tuyong Dahon

ni: Uel Ceballos

Sa mga tuyong dahon kita naaalala
Kasabay ng mga sumpaan natin ng walang hanggan.
Sapagkat ang pag-ibig kong sinelyuhan ng mga dagta,
Sa tuyong dahon, sa ilalim ng araw makikita.

Sa mga tuyong dahon tayo nagsumpaan.
Hindi alintana ang hapdi ng araw.
Sapagkat ang pag-ibig ko sa'yo ay
parang kalikasan,
Nagbabago at nalalanta; subalit
laging sinisibulan ng pag-asa.

Sa mga tuyong dahon ko unang natikman;
Ang halik mong sing-tamis ng hinog na mangga.
Doon ko nasilayan ang maamo mong ngiti,
gayundin ang mapait mong pagluha;
Sa tuwing ang pag-ibig nati'y sinusubok ng tadhana.

Sa mga tuyong dahon natin naisulat
ang pangakong tayo magpakailanman.
Sa mga tuyong dahon din pala 
magwawakas, ang pagmamahalang akala ko'y
walang hanggan.

Sa mga tuyong dahon kita laging naaalala.
Sa mga tuyong dahon din kita sisimulang kalimutan.

SHOES PARADE – THE TYPE OF SHOES THAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

Not much of a shoes expert, I wear my footwear without knowing what they are called or named precisely. It’s quite enough for me that I know the heels from what are not. :P Like for example, I never knew before that flat or dolly shoes are also called ballet flats. I dance, therefore I know I can’t rely on these so-called ballet flats to help me make an awesome pirouette or support me in relevé. So I’m confused why flat shoes are being called as such – well I’m not confused now :) . Another of my pathetic ignorance on footwear was the time my friend described what gladiator shoes looked like and yet I couldn’t picture it out on my mind. I have worn it before, but I never knew it was called gladiator shoes! When I heard of gladiator all I could picture out was Gerard Butler in his barbaric, yet sexy costume in the film 300 and his ... ahah! His sandals, the almost knee length sandals, and so now I know why!

I realized that a good knowledge on shoes doesn’t only help in being more specific when it comes to footwear shopping, but it also makes a fashion expert out of us when we’re matching shoes with specific apparel for our OOTD. Now I made here the list of shoes that every woman should have and this time I call them on their names (long before I used to refer to them as just shoes for work, or for travel, or high heeled – or plainly as shoes :P )

SHOES PARADE – THE TYPE OF SHOES THAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

1. Ballet Flats or Doll Shoes –This type of footwear is perfect for everyday use whether for work or for leisure. Comfy and light, ballet flats would let you stroll around the mall shopping for hours and hours without feeling your feet complaining. As in you can stroll around like ballerina, light and carefree. You can even do some jete and barrel turn if you like. This is also good for your weekend travelling...but still depends on what kind of getaway are you into. Hiking and spelunking are definitely not counted.

2. Kitten Heels – This is my favourite kind of heels because it makes me feel sophisticated without having to wince every once in a while. The heels are just about 1.5 to 1.75 inches which I usually pair with skinny jeans or leggings. I find Kitten Heels cute and elegant; because I feel like some smart, nice woman instead of the overconfident, mean office girl that I often looked like whenever I’m on higher, stiletto one. Kitten Heels are also safer to wear on stage play performances (with crazy roles that involve lots of movements) rather than the high heeled shoes that almost send me rolling down the 6 ft. stairs during one of our shows.

3. High Heeled Pumps – Don’t get me wrong, I’m just quite expressive on my hurting feet complaints but I do still fancy high heeled pumps, and I mean here the one with heels that ranged from four to six inches. Though I get to manage only the four inches. I may not wear it as often as I wear flats but I have two pairs which I wear on special occasions. You know, on some occasions that I feel like playing the intimidating, independent woman strutting around the event hall with clutch on my hand, dark red shade on my lips, and long curly hair cascading down my back – I just don’t know if the people see me as exactly as I imagined myself to be. Hehe. Kidding aside, high heeled pumps are good for dressing up because it gives you that high profile image when appropriately matched with classy dress and intricate jewellery.

4. Wedges – Wedges are the irresistible shoes that give you the elongation you need without having to balance yourself hardly when walking on the pavements. Unlike the stilettos and nude pumps, wedges provide the height that makes you look tall (even though you’re obviously not) but requires lesser effort from you as you walk on by. It can be paired to various attires from jeans, skirts, to dress and formal wear. What I love most about wedges is the “feel” that I’m not wearing high heeled footwear at all! The flatness of the bottom which makes the balancing a lot easier as compared when you are walking around with stiletto, is what attracts me to wedges shoes.

5. Sneakers –Good for sports and travelling escapades, sneakers is your adventure buddy and your gym companion. Every woman should have pairs of this sporty footwear that can give that strong image and full support when you have to do lots of walking (and running) for the day. 

6. Rain shoes – If you live in a rainy country like Philippines, a pair of rain shoes is a must-have on your closet. We’re talking about here the shoes and not the conventional rain boots that people used to wear when going to market or braving knee-high flood (but yes these kinds of boots are a must-have as well). Rain shoes make it possible for you to go in fashion even at times of cold, gloomy weather. No rain could ever stop you from your well-planned OOTD because there are varying designs of colourful rain shoes (or boots) that can match your rainy season outfit. Not only that they will keep your feet comfortable but rain shoes will also save your other precious shoes from swimming in the rain water. Indeed, rain shoes is the savior of all shoes during rainy season. :)

7. Espadrilles – Another of my personal favourite is the Espadrilles. With its jute rope sole and snug canvas fabric, Espadrilles makes me feel so light and free. It gives that air of independence for strong on-the-go, I-can-do-it-on-my-own kind of woman. The flat espadrilles are pretty cool when paired with jeans or shorts; while the wedge espadrilles are nice footwear paired with dress, making it easy for you to manage the walking due to its feathery sole feature. 

8. Ankle boots – Ankle boots should never go missing from your collection because it’s another great type of footwear that breathes the air of awesomeness and cool fashion. Ankle boots look good on leggings but you can also match it with skirts, skinny jeans, and upper trendy jacket or vest. One good reason why you should have this footwear is because ankle boots never fail to make you feel hip and stylish. Whenever I'm wearing ankle boots, I'm always feeling good about myself and that makes a great deal of difference.

9. Flat Sandals – For sure, there are times that your feet want to breathe in the open. Do not deprive them of this simple request while you’re still maintaining that chic and fashionable OOTD. Have pairs of flat sandals to accent your beautiful and soft feet while still getting sophisticated on your outfit. It makes you feel and look classy even if you’re on your typical, casual and everyday dress.

There you go, hope you find this article helpful and please do not hesitate to share your comments and insights. I’d be happy to learn more about shoes and fashions so feel free to give your reviews below. To learn more of other footwear you could check out also Zalora's collection of women's footwear.

P.S. So proud of myself I call the shoes by their names now! :)